In the past few days a local nurse has been fired from her position as an ICU nurse. I do not know her personally but from all accounts she was an excellent nurse with 38 of experience. That is exactly the type of nurse I and anyone else with any sense would want taking care of them or their loved ones. You may recall from my blog post ” Canned at 55″ that I am of the opinion that age is playing a big factor in the decisions of who loses their nursing jobs. Older nurses are at the top of the pay scale so we cost more. Don’t try to tell me we cost more because we call off either. We tough old birds are at work when all the millennials have called in with the hang nails or belly aches. Young nurses are cheaper and best of all for the managers, they are malleable and won’t stand up for what is right. You think older nurses are mouthy? Hell yes we are! How many lives have been saved because an experienced nurse would not back down from a doctor and insisted that the patient needed this or that? How many times was a ridiculous policy fought because young inexperienced managers didn’t know what they hell they were doing? Were the young scared to death nurses doing this..no..the old gals were. Did we eat our young? Yes we probably did, on shifts where we were understaffed and overworked and the said young lackadaisical or just plain not cut out for nursing? Did the potential good ones put on their big girls panties and work hard to shut us up and prove themselves? Yes they did. And several of you proved me wrong..and Im proud of you! You KNOW who you are….Moving on, it is not a good thing that age discrimination is taking over the local hospitals, they are only hurting the patients. Nurses that have worked for you for 38 years, likely done permanent damage to their backs, spent more holidays at your hospital that they did with your family, they are the heart and soul of your facility. And they will be missed.

If you spend much time on Facebook you will see all these women that have it together. Their houses are spotless, spouses are all warm and fuzzy and loving, and their children are angels. They meal prep every Sunday for the entire week and their kids are early for school every day without a hair out of place. They are indispensable at their jobs, they make 75.00 bucks an hour, they feed the homeless on their lunch breaks and they are the textbook definition of liberal. They are always kind and giving, they never nag their husbands or their perfect little kids. They have a perfect BMI and did not develop any stretch marks or unsightly sag during their pregnancies. They do not like cake and would NEVER feed their children too much sugar. Their kids are involved in Little League, dance, twirl, cheerleading, football, (they are being scouted for the NFL already) and they all make straight A’s and couldn’t pick their principals out of a line up. Last night alone they helped little Johnny build a diorama and Susie build a volcano after Little League and Dance, cooked a three course organic meal and still had the kids bathed and in bed by 8pm at which time they made passionate love to their husbands who everyone knows is their soulmate and they have never had a cross word since they met!After the 2 hour love fest they then did 3 loads of laundry and folded it and put it away, fixed the hubs and kids lunches for tomorrow, cleaned house and them finally went to bed so they can get up at 4am and do Pilates before waking the kids up. People…please. We KNOW you only post the good stuff. We KNOW you have cross words with your hubs for three reasons. 1) we have a hubs too..its impossible not to have a cross word. 2) We have met you and we know your level of sarcasm and 3) It’s real life to fuss with them! We know your kids aren’t perfect and thats ok! They are alive and well fed and hopefully vaccinated and not a total terror and school and thats ok! Your house isn’t perfect all the time, you have stretch marks and some sag, you told hubs to stuff it last night when he asked for sex…and thats ok! Maybe if he had helped clean up the kitchen or folded some laundry he night have gotten lucky, if not he will live till your day off. Stop putting so much effort into being perfect and give yourself some slack. Its ok to just be ok.

So to continue my adventure on the AARP mailing list I have been thinking this week that I just don’t “think” I am 55. I was reading a poster in the waiting room of a doctors office and it was encouraging “older people” to get their flu injections because people aged 55 and above are more likely to develop complications that could lead to death. Then it hit me….I am in that age group! That is so ridiculous….I was just a teenager yesterday! Seriously, on a daily basis I think I should still be in the thirties, at the most 40. This especially hits me when I am with my grandson Reid, he looks so much like Matt it reminds me of those days when he was a toddler. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a Gigi and wouldn’t change it for the world but I do not like being considered a “senior citizen” at all! Just think ladies how much effort we put into looking younger, covering up our gray and if you are like me putting enough product on my face at night to moisturize 15 younger women! Do we really need to try so hard? Are we afraid to accept reality or do we fear being judged by our peers? Is our happiness and self esteem so tied to our looks that we would feel bad about ourselves if we showed some gray and our wrinkles? If I am going to be honest I am going to have to answer yes for myself. when I was unemployed on the days I didn’t do my hair and makeup I was more blue than the days I did my hair and makeup. So I guess I am that shallow, but not shallow enough to be skinny also. (the world couldn’t handle THAT much sexy). So I guess I will keep fighting Father Time as long as I can and just keep on keeping on!

But I Thought I Loved Nursing: What losing my job at age 55 has taught me.

I have worked as a nurse since 1985, starting as an LPN and eventually becoming a Family Nurse Practitioner. I’ve done a little bit of everything, from mental health to geriatrics, cardiology, pain management, and rheumatology. I have always been proud to be a nurse, and always encouraged anyone who told me they wanted to go to nursing school. I have worked for good and bad managers, and I am now of the opinion that with rare exception (CK), people with no nursing history should not be the Practice Manager of a clinic. And I’m talking licensed nurse, not a remote history of being a medical assistant.
I was laid off from a job I loved in November amid a merger. I had a great group of patients, and I am still being told that they miss me. I was doing a good job, and the VP assured me that it was purely a decision based on numbers and I was the low gal on the totem pole. The devastation and shame I felt that first week was indescribable. How could this happen to me and what the hell do I do now? I was sure I was a terrible nurse practitioner and that I would never find another job and we were going to starve and live in the gutter.
So after a week or so I pulled myself together and began to search for jobs. Being right in the middle of the holiday season there just wasn’t much available, so the search didn’t get intensive till January. Then the interviews began and they are what has made me realize I don’t love nursing as much as I thought I did.
It quickly became apparent that I am old, and that by being old and having lots of experience I found myself trying to prove to these people interviewing me that I don’t need to be put out to pasture and yes I do have plenty left to offer. At first, this devastated me, then I realized something that began pissing me off. With all the online programs going on right now, younger girls are graduating, and you know what they are beside young…cheap. Yes, they will work cheaper than I will. And the managers who think that they are experts on being a practitioner only look at their budgets, how it will affect their bottom line to save some money on salary. If you are reading this and you think, Well Sherry Perry this won’t happen to me because I’m right and you are apparently barely competent and perhaps hateful, think again. I WAS good, and my patients loved me, and management didn’t blink an eye. You have to look out for yourself because the administration is undoubtedly going to look out for their bottom line.
Anyway, the longer I was off I realized something, I have been consumed by being a nurse for 34 years. Its who I was. Yes, I was a wife, mother, and grandmother, but I was a NURSE. I worked fulltime; nursing was a huge part of my life as well as being a working adult. I’ve slowly realized over the past few months that once the shock and worry eased that I was experiencing something that I do not remember experiencing before — incredible freedom. I could choose every day what I wanted to do; if I didn’t want to be around someone, I would stay away from them. If I didn’t want to do something, I didn’t. The only bosses I had were aged 11, 6, 5 and 4 and they could be bribed to do what I wanted most of the time. I was just Mom and Gigi, and I have been happy. But as with all good fairy tales that must come to an end since I can’t afford to live that way forever and I must go back to work.
I start work on Monday, and everyone asks me if I’m excited to be going to back. The answer is yes and no. I’m sure that I will get back into a routine and that I will be content eventually. Nursing isn’t fun, its hard work and being judged by people who aren’t nurses and really have no concept of what it is you actually do. They think they do, but they don’t. Before I became an NP I watched a lot of girls fresh out of nursing school, so new they still cried every day at work, get promoted to management because they were young and cute and would drink the corporate kool-aid. The old dinosaurs who could have made an enormous impact and turned the unit around continued to work the floor and get bossed around by these cute new managers. It’s a total lack of respect and appreciation for years of experience and hard work.
So bottom line I am returning to work on Monday, and I am thankful for the opportunity and for the person who realized that I do have a lot left to contribute. I guess what I am trying to say with this blog is that if you can afford to, don’t let nursing or any other job consume you. Give it your best when you are there but forget about it the minute you leave the job site. Take advantage of every opportunity to experience freedom. Play Pokemon with your grandson, binge-watch Netflix, enjoy your life. Don’t let your job be your life because they will boot you out and not blink an eye.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton